I became a single mother to a very high demand baby in 2009. I love this child beyond comprehension. He is very high demand, he makes demands of me in every way, especially emotionally. To really describe this to a childless friend, I used the analogy of a bank account. My son was making massive daily withdrawals on me emotionally and physically. Soon, he would overdraft to the point where I stopped caring a bit. I would have to get help from my aunt so that I could make deposits into my emotional and physical bank. I would leave him with her so I could go for a run or just wander around the mall, mindlessly.

My friend understood this analogy and saw why it was important to make deposits back into ourselves so that there is something to give. She was able to apply this concept to her own life and see where others were making withdrawals on her that caused overdrafts to her emotional bank account.

When Mom-Shaming happens, I use this analogy as well. Some moms feels it is necessary to tell other moms where they are screwing up, that we should be available to our children 24/7/365 but I think that sets a bad precedent. What am I teaching my daughter about taking care of her own needs if I never take care of my own? What am I teaching my son about making demands on women and expecting them to be there for his every emotional or physical whim?